Funk Dump

Hey blog, I'm in a funk. I don't mean that in a good way, unfortunately. I don't like to say I'm in a bad mood, because that implies anger to me. It's more like my mood is not there. I feel tired all the time but I can't sleep. Restlessness sounds good. I get restless.

The way it works is generally I start pitying myself for my situation, but then I realize that it's my fault that I am where I am. I feel like nobody cares about me, but then I realize that people do, there just aren't enough of them or they aren't the right people because I'm conceited and I want to look down on people. It's a continuing cycle until something fun happens to break me out of it for a little while.

I mean, I don't deserve anyone's pity, least of all my own. I've been handed everything in my life and I screwed it all up. Every time I find something good I ruin it. I always do. But I've still got it good, even after I have done everything so horribly. There are kids in Africa without families, and without homes, so what do I have to feel bad about? That I don't have a hundred friends? That I'm not rich?

So that's it. I don't know. I just wish I didn't feel bad. I don't think I deserve to feel bad.

Blogging- Not as easy as it sounds!

Man, writing about stuff is hard. I mean, writing about it from an informed position. There's research and stuff I don't want to do. I want to be sort of like Glenn Beck, where I just read some headlines and then warp the stories so that they support my world view, but if I did that I'd be a hack. I have too much pride for that (take note- I probably won't ever say this again in my entire life).

Just because it came to mind and I need to start writing blog posts, I'm going to write about originality, I think. I don't know, this is flow of consciousness stuff because it's 5am and I wish I could get to sleep.

I used to be a pretty active member of the Cracked.com Forums, and although I don't think I'm very funny, it taught me a couple of things about humor, and the way those things relate to me, personally. I haven't gone around in awhile, as a lot of the members I admired went and formed a new site due to some weird drama. So then, most of the people left at the Cracked.com forums were mostly ones I thought weren't very funny or interesting, and I didn't really fit in on the new site (that new site can be found here, and I'm glad that it's doing well) because those guys are much funnier than I think I'll ever be.

When I started writing all that, I was thinking I would write out some of the things I've learned, but Dane Cook has more credibility when it comes to comedy than I do, so I'm just going to list some things that I think are unoriginal no matter where you are.

1. Making fun of Twilight- Thousands of people have already said exactly what you're going to say, and each one of them said it in a funnier way than anything you will think of.

2. 'Shock' Humor- You are not shocking anyone when you talk about watching porn. Nobody is surprised when you talk about smoking weed. Most people don't enjoy actually shock humor, so if you find that there is anything someone could say that would offend you, you should probably try not to use shock humor.

3. Being Fancy- Using long, fancy words and pretending to be a high-class gentleman is not funny of its own accord. You may have just learned what the word 'fisticuffs' means, but the top hat and monocle routine is already overdone in most significant internet communities.

4. A Lot of Other Stuff- I'm lazy. I'd say I'll finish this later, but I probably won't. So, until next time, which will probably be 3 months from now.

Hello, blog!

Specifically, blog that nobody reads anyways. It has been far too long, it has, so I think I'll try and get a handle on this thing again, since it's already set up and shit and I want to start blogging again.

What am I going to blog about, though? Shoes? Designer handbags? Axe handles? Dinosaurs? Ha ha! All of those things are much more interesting than anything I am going to be blogging about. Instead I will talk about my boring life and video games and being a lumberjack, and stuff like that.

For this post, I'm just going to leave you (my non-existent readers) hanging and not really say anything, and this type of post will probably become pretty normal if I do manage to update regularly.

For now, however, I have a huge dump to take. Depending on its splendor, I may or may not post some pictures of it for all of you internet people to marvel at.