Friday, April 24, 2009

untitled story

So anyways this is the latest thing I've been working on. I've got a bit more than this, but not a whole lot, and I need to go over it because I wrote it all in a big chunk and that usually doesn't give good results.

A room is illuminated in a fiery glow from a single candle on a rickety table. A boot casts a flickering shadow on the wall and from the boot springs a thick, tough leg with a bulging calf. The leg is stuck onto a scarred torso in a torn long coat, and on top or in front of the torso are two crossed arms. There is a thick patch of fur with a face attached stuck carelessly to the body, its neck barely visible.

 The man adjusts himself. The candle’s flame spasms for a moment as the table rocks, as if about to give in to the weight of the man’s thick boots. Sensing this, the man picks his boots up and puts them on the floor and sitting up straight in his chair. He takes a quick look about the room but he can’t see anything.

 He is visibly startled when a figure appears in the doorway. She moves forward into the dim light and the man lets go of his pistol. He opens his mouth to speak but all that comes out is a dry, breathy gasp. He reaches out and feels around the dark end of the table and pulls from the shade a flagon. It is nearly empty, but the few drops of water are still refreshing, and after his throat is cleared he successfully attempts to speak again.
 “You’re late.” He says annoyance obviously present in his voice. He looks sternly at her and moves to stand but winces in pain when he shifts his weight to his feet.
 “Don’t try and stand,” she says, moving towards him. She sets a tome on the teetering table and stumbles slightly over her cassock, but she keeps her balance. The thick brown cloth falls much further than her feet and is plainly a men’s size. “I’m sorry to keep you waiting. There were many casualties.” She keeps her eyes on the floor as if ashamed.
 “It doesn’t matter. Just see what you can do.” The man says, pulling up the left leg of his pants to reveal a deep wound, surrounded by crusty dried blood. Along the center a thick black tar-like substance swirled and bubbled. It obscured a malevolent but faint violet glow, deep beneath the surface. The woman gasped at the sight.
 “I-…” she began and trailed off. Her eyes were wide with fear, as if the wound were demon incarnate. “This is beyond my knowledge, I-“
 “Do something!” The man shouts. The flame flickers in response. “Just do anything! The pain is-… it’s unbearable!” his face turns white and his eyes seem to lose themselves in a separate plane and he falls into the chair again. The woman grabs the tome and quickly flips through it. She passes up the page she’s looking for and furiously flips backwards. She finds the correct page and reads along with the line. 
 She reaches out toward his wound and, her arm trembling with the magical energies coursing through it, slowly draws the gooey substance from the wound. The ichor grows bright then begins to dim as it grows further from the wound. It desperately clings to the hairs of his leg, and a faint scream can be heard from deep under its surface as it begins to harden. In a few moments more it has completely solidified, and it falls to the ground, harmless.
 The man gasps and wheezes, his weak breaths scratching his dry throat. The woman is also breathing heavily, but is entranced by the deep purple globe in the dirt. She breaks her concentration as the man gags, and hands him a boar skin canteen from the table. He sucks the canteen dry in seconds and drops it to his side.
 “Th-… thank you…” He manages to say as he passes out through the pain in his calf. The woman leaves to summon a surgeon.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

DADDY WAS A BANK ROBBER

So I've finally gotten over my short stint of writer's block, and I've got around two pages of a story. Once I've gotten a bit further and I'm satisfied I'll post it up here. Not that that will accomplish anything that having it sitting on my desktop wouldn't, but still.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

An open letter to the USA Network

Dear USA Network:

You have some of my favorite shows on television, and even though I don't love every single one of them, I can tolerate all of them, because you seem to keep a pretty a high standard of quality for your original programming.

So why, when you get your hands on a show like Burn Notice, do you try so hard to ensure I never get to see it? You've got House for fuck's sake, so why is NCIS always on? Law and Order: Criminal Intent is easily the best Law and Order, but the only time you play it is at 3 in the morning on weekdays and in all-day marathons on some holidays, when it can only be enjoyed by losers who don't have friends or family to spend time with.

I've been a fan of Monk for around 2 years now and I still haven't seen every episode, yet I'm sure I would be able to catch the entire catalogue of NCIS in a month if I felt like it. A new season of In Plain Sight is coming up, so I can understand it always being on, but why the hell don't you do the same for Burn Notice or Psyche?

And the problem isn't just NCIS. Sure, it's a lame CSI rip-off, but it's not terrible. It's that, right now, I guess because you just acquired the rights, it's one of the only things that's ever on. You've got so much great stuff you could be using every day instead of playing the new thing until it's stale and then shoving it in the closet for half a decade.

I already rarely watch USA because I'm tired of watching the same episode of House over and over (that one where House is all grumpy) and with a good schedule I bet you could bring in some much better ratings then you're doing now.

Or, alternatively, send Olivia Wilde to my house naked and I will never watch another network again.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Man if this car just burst into flames right now

So earlier this week I thought I was terrible at being a Spy in Team Fortress 2 but it turns out I'm not too bad so what I'm saying is HAPPIEST DAY OF MY LIFE

I think I might try to write something for Blizzard because they have a contest or something. I'm jotting down some ideas as I write this so we'll what happens

Monday, April 13, 2009

flight of the conchords fan art

I've been doodling the various parts for a few weeks and I figured I'd try and combine them, but certain parts of it look sort of empty, so I'm going to cop-out and say it's an on-going project.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

I am a hollow shell of a man

I've got nothing. I started writing some stupid story about David Bowie in space, but it's terrible I think. I'm trying this crazy 'write one paragraph a day' approach, which I think is a really good idea because writing for 8 hours straight and then doing nothing for half a month just makes me feel lousy.

I was thinking of writing a story about this guy who goes to the same church I used to go to named Jim Fogg. I know almost nothing about him, but he's so depressing. He smiles and laughs and everything but it always just makes you feel bad somehow, and then that makes you feel bad because maybe he can tell and you don't want him to think he's depressing you.

I do know that most of his family is dead, and I was thinking about expanding on that. Maybe there was some kind of family business that got them all killed, and Jim was active in it until they all died and then he swore to never have any hand in it again, and then maybe for some reason he has to set everything right or maybe he tries to fix some problem he started back in the biz. I'm not sure but it seems like it has some potential, maybe once I run out of ideas for this stupid David Bowie thing.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

BLOGS HAVE BECOME OUTDATED SINCE MY LAST POST

Okay, so I haven't posted anything here in like a month at least, so sorry guy who read my blog once. Now I know why you aren't reading it now. So Watchmen came out and it was awesome, I started regularly going to the gym again, and not much else happened. I might be employed again, soon, because a CVS is opening near me and my aunt is friends with the person who is going to be managing it, so she's going to recommend me and then maybe I can get some cash flow going in between all my lumberjacking.

I feel like I've got to write something but I don't know what. So I'm going to sleep on it and see if I get any good ideas.